Anything Rachel Zoe can do you can do better

British papers will have you believe she now makes ‘her girls’ smoke crystal meth but we don't buy it. The secret to beating carb cravings is Orbit Citrus. Some people take it instead of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Works wonders.

Carbs aside, we are here to show you what Rachel Zoe-bots will be wearing next spring. Forewarned means armed and dangerous, right? So here’s a Zoe-bot shopping list:

Nicole Richie gets Jovovich-hawk dresses. Paisley gowns go over really well in LA and the ruffles on the chest create a much-needed illusion of breasts. Plus some Gucci and Dsquared2 to bum around in.
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Lohan gets this Alberta Feretti beaded dress. It's equal parts expensive and flashy. Also a silver Fendi dress. (You know who Karl made that one for, right?) Plus an uber-mature Giles Deacon leather dress that she will wear on the cover of some edgy magazine with a headline Lindsey Lo - Disney no mo'.
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Mischa Barton gets Marc Jacobs holographic dress. No human being has any reason to wear something like this unless it's as tall and as blonde as Mischa. Still, she's only allowed to have it if she loses another six pounds and lands a role in a movie. Keeping with the boho tradition she also gets a Gucci butterfly tank and a Jil Sander dress to make her look "a little smarter." (Allah knows, that's hard to do)
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Now we just have to wait for the Chanel show to see which purse Rachel Zoe is going to snag. We bet it's the one with the biggest Chanel logo. Clashing C's signal to the masses that the girls are "refined and elegant". Fool them twice, Rachel?